100 of the Dumbest Right-Wing Quotes of all Time

100 Stupid Conservative quotes

1. “…the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more.” ~ Michele Bachmann, Speaking to Iowans For Tax Relief about the framers of the Constitution. January, 2011

2. “A poet once said, ‘life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”’ ~ GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain, quoting lyrics from the theme song to ‘Pokemon: The Movie 2000.’ The ”poet” who wrote those lyrics was disco queen Donna Summer.

3. “Add one little bit on the end… Think of ‘potato’, how’s it spelled? You’re right phonetically, but what else…? There ya’ go… all right!” ~ Dan Quayle

4. “AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.” ~Jerry Falwell

5. “American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.” ~ Christine O’Donnell

6. “As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.” ~ George W. Bush

7. “Because I do not wear high heels. She has questioned my manhood, and I think it’s fair to respond. I have cowboy boots, they have real bullshit on them. And that’s Weld County bullshit, not Washington, D.C., bullshit.” ~ Tea Party candidate Ken Buck, after being asked why people should vote for him for the Colorado GOP Senate nomination. Buck was referring to an ad run by his opponent, which decried third-party spending on behalf of his campaign and urged Buck to ”be man enough” to run the ads himself, July 21, 2010.

8. “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” ~ Rep. Michelle Bachmann

9. “Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.” ~ GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney

10. “Do you have blacks, too?” ~ George W. Bush

11. “Do you know, where does this phrase ‘separation of church and state’ come from? It was not in Jefferson’s letter to the Danbury Baptists. … The exact phrase ‘separation of Church and State’ came out of Adolph Hitler’s mouth, that’s where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask them why they’re Nazis.” ~ Glen Urquhart, the Tea Party-backed Republican nominee for the Delaware House seat held by Rep. Mike Castle, April 2010

12. “Exercise freaks … are the ones putting stress on the health care system.” ~ Rush Limbaugh

13. “Facts are stupid things.” ~ Ronald Reagan

14. “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” ~ George W. Bush

15. “Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.” ~ Rush Limbaugh

16. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.” ~ Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-North Carolina)

17. “For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh…setbacks.” ~ George H.W. Bush

18. “From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” ~ Texas Gov. Rick Perry, on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in 2010

19. “Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I AM NOT UNDERSTATING THAT.” ~ Michelle Bachmann

20. “Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant — they’re quite clear — that we would create law based on the God of the bible and the Ten Commandments.” ~ Sarah Palin

21. “Go f**k yourself.” ~ Vice President Dick Cheney to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about profiteering by Halliburton, June 22, 2004

22. “Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.” ~ Jerry Falwell

23. “Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.” ~ Sarah Palin

24. “Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” ~ Jerry Falwell

25. “He has no place in any station of government and we need to realize that he is an ENEMY OF HUMANITY.” ~ Trent Franks on Obama

26. “He is purple – the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay pride symbol.” ~ Jerry Falwell’s warning to parents that “Tinky Winky,” a character on Teletubbies, may be gay

27. “I absolutely do not believe in the science of man-caused climate change. It’s not proven by any stretch of the imagination…It’s far more likely that it’s just sunspot activity or just something in the geologic eons of time. Excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere ‘gets sucked down by trees and helps the trees grow.”’ ~ Ron Johnson

28. “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” ~ George W. Bush

29. “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” ~ Ronald Reagan

30. “I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.” Dan Quayle

31. “I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Chanukah.” ~ President George W. Bush

32. “I don’t want to be associated with those people, but I also don’t want to limit their speech in any way in the sense that we tolerate boorish and uncivilized behavior because that’s one of the things freedom requires is that we allow people to be boorish and uncivilized, but that doesn’t mean we approve of it.” ~ Rand Paul, taking issue with the Civil Rights Act of 1964 while arguing that government should not prevent private businesses from discriminating on the basis of race

33. “I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.” ~ Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

34. “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann

35. “I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.” ~ Mitt Romney, who earned $374,000 in speaking fees in one year according to according to his personal financial disclosure (January 2012)

36. “I have been in the situation of counseling young girls… who have had very at risk, difficult pregnancies. And my counsel was to look for some alternatives, which they did. And they found that they had made WHAT WAS REALLY A LEMON SITUATION INTO LEMONADE.” ~ Sharron Angle on abortion

37. “I hope that’s not where we’re going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.” ~ Nevada GOP Senate candidate Sharron Angle, floating the possibility of armed insurrection in a radio interview

38. “I just think my children, and your children, will be much better off, and much more successful getting married and raising a family. And I don’t want them to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It isn’t.” ~ Carl Paladino, New York State Tea Party-backed candidate for Governor, Oct. 10, 2010

39. “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” ~ George W. Bush

40. “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” ~ George W. Bush

41. “I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.” ~ Dan Quayle

42. “I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix.” ~ Dan Quayle

43. “I love this state. The trees are the right height.” ~ Mitt Romney, campaigning in Michigan (February 2012)

44. “I think I was unprepared for war.” ~ George W. Bush

45. “I think that two wrongs don’t make a right. And I have been in the situation of counseling young girls, not 13 but 15, who have had very at risk, difficult pregnancies. And my counsel was to look for some alternatives, which they did. And they found that they had made what was really a lemon situation into lemonade.” ~ Sharron Angle, explaining why she is against abortion even in cases of rape or incest, July 8, 2010

46. “I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.” ~ Dan Quayle

47. “I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.” ~ Donald Rumsfeld

48. “I’m not a witch…I’m you.” ~ Christine O’Donnell

49. “I’m ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions and they’re already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?” ~ Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain

50. “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.” ~ George W. Bush

51. “If we took away the minimum wage-if conceivably it was gone-we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” ~ Michele Bachmann

52. “If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president.” ~ Ann Coulter

53. “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” ~ George W. Bush

54. “Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?” ~ Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), on congressional efforts to pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage (July 2004)

55. “It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE ABSTINENT ALONE. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can’t masturbate without lust.” ~ Christine O’Donnell

56. “It may be a blessing in disguise. … Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.” ~ Pat Robertson

57. “It’s not unusual in political rallies, it’s not unusual in parades, to see that type of thing.” ~ Joe Miller on guns at his rallies

58. “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.” ~ South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, arguing against government food assistance for poor residents.

59. “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.'” ~ Dan Quayle

60. “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” ~ George W. Bush

61. “Our nation was founded on violence. The option is on the table. I don’t think that we should ever remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.” ~ Tea Party-backed Texas GOP congressional candidate Stephen Broden, suggesting the violent overthrow of the U.S. government if Republicans don’t win at the ballot box, interview with Dallas’s WFAA-TV, Oct. 21, 2010

62. “People ask me, ‘What are you going to do to develop jobs in your state?’ Well, that’s not my job as a U.S. senator.” ~ Sharron Angle

63. “PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air.” ~ Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney in 2007, responding to criticism from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals following revelations that he had once strapped the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip

64. “President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob … Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image.” ~ Rick Santorum

65. “Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” ~ George W. Bush

66. “‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!'” ~ Sarah Palin

67. “She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday–a lot! And so she’ll, she’s all, ‘I am going up and down the stairs, and you’re dripping out of me!’ So messy!” ~ State Rep. Mike Duvall (R-Calif.) on a live mic referring to an affair with a lobbyist

68. “She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a President. And besides, she has cancer.”’ ~ future House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA), reportedly speaking to a friend in 1980 about why he was divorcing his first wife

69. “the ABA is about as far left as the Communist Party, so those who usually get those awards are lawyers committed to socialism, not freedom.” ~ Tea Party Nation Founder Judson Phillips

70. “The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.” ~ Jerry Falwell

71. “The exact phrase ‘separation of Church and State’ came out of Adolph HItler’s mouth, that’s where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ASK THEM WHY THEY’RE NAZIS.” ~ Glen Urquhart

72. “The Federal Department of Education should be eliminated. The Department of Education is unconstitutional and should not be involved in education, at any level.” ~ Sharron Angle, July 12, 2010

73. “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” ~ Pat Robertson

74. “The greatest threat to America is not necessarily a recession or even another terrorist attack. The greatest threat to America is a liberal media bias.” ~ Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX)

75. “The LensCrafters of big abortion.” ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), describing Planned Parenthood

76. “The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” ~ Rush Limbaugh

77. “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” ~ Michele Bachmann

78. “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on –shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” ~ George W. Bush

79. “THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL PROPERTIES with basketball courts, bathroom facilities, toilet facilities. Many young people would love to get the hell out of cities” ~ Carl Paladino on housing poor people in prisons

80. “They [Republicans] say, ‘You’re too conservative.’ Was Thomas Jefferson too conservative? I’m tired of some people calling me wacky.” ~ Nevada GOP Senate nominee and Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle, March 21, 2010

81. “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” ~ George W. Bush

82. “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” ~ George W. Bush

83. “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.” ~ Ronald Reagan

84. “We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS.” ~ Christine O’Donnell, Politically Incorrect. August 1998

85. “We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” ~ John McCain (the countries share no common border)

86. “We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.” ~ Ann Coulter

87. “We need to execute people like (John Walker Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals.” ~ Ann Coulter

88. “We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” ~ Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele.

89. “We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” ~ President George W. Bush

90. “We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we’re having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS.” ~ Christine O’Donnell, Politically Incorrect. August 1998

91. “We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn’t that ironic?” ~ Sarah Palin, admitting that her family used to get treatment in Canada’s single-payer health care system, despite having demonized such government-run programs as socialized medicine that will lead to death-panel-like rationing, March 6, 2010

92. “Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.” ~ Dan Quayle

93. “Well, I learned a lot….I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries” ~ Ronald Reagan

94. “What I don’t know is what the unexpected might be.” ~ John McCain

95. “What I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.” ~ GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, getting her John Waynes mixed up during an interview after launching her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, where she grew up. The beloved movie star John Wayne was born in Winterset, Iowa, three hours away. The John Wayne that Waterloo was home to is John Wayne Gacy, a notorious serial killer.

96. “What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.” ~ GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann (R-MN), apparently unaware that the Soviet Union collapsed more than two decades ago (August 2011)

97. “When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.” ~ Glenn Beck

98. “When the President does it, that means that it’s not illegal.” ~ Richard M. Nixon

99. “You know what, evolution is a myth….Why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?” ~ Christine O’Donnell

100. “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” ~ George W. Bush

Samuel Warde
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