John McCain Quits Senate In Solidarity With Susan Rice (HUMOR)

John McCain Quits Senate In Solidarity With Susan Rice

On Friday, John McCain announced that he was quitting the Senate and retiring to a quiet life of watching the Republican Party fade into history. When asked why, he replied, “Well, when Susan Rice threw in the towel on seeking the Secretary Of State nomination, I knew I had to take a stand to protest her treatment at the hands of my party.”

When reminded that he was the spearhead of that effort to discredit Ms. Rice, and in fact was one of the primary reasons she removed her name from possible nomination, McCain mumbled something about empty chairs, Clint Eastwood, and peas.

John Boehner told the press corp that he really didn’t know how to react to the news of McCain leaving the public eye, but he would have an answer to that on Monday, where he would be able to in fact shed some tears for the camera if so desired. “Look, to be honest, I can weep pretty much on demand. Do you want to see me do it right now?”

Susan Rice could not be reached for comment.