Newtown Resident Yells at State Lawmakers

Read more at Spiffysean.com

I’ll admit that my column doesn’t have nearly as good of a title as “SANDY HOOK FATHER OWNS CONGRESS,” but at least mine is completely accurate. There is currently a video circulating the Interweb in which Bill Stevens, a Newtown, Connecticut resident does his best Charlton Heston impersonation while speaking in front of state legislators (above).

The video has gone viral, spread mostly by conservatives who point to his defense of the Second Amendment as proof that we really don’t need to change anything about our existing gun laws. Since I had great success with my Sandy Hook Conspiracy Theories DEBUNKED column, I thought it would be fun to step back into the ring for round 2. ThinkOutsidetheTV, whose other uploads include conspiracy theory videos arguing that Sandy Hook was a staged coup featuring hired actors intended to frighten Americans into surrendering their gun rights, are the same folks who posted this video.  Is it a coincidence?  Hey, I’m just asking questions here!

There is some misinformation being spread around here and once again it is the “liberal media” who is to blame.  There is a huge controversy over the fact that Victoria, the daughter of Mr. Stevens who is mentioned in the video, does not actually attend Sandy Hook Elementary.  In fact, she is a 5th grade student at Reed Intermediate School, which is about a mile away from Sandy Hook Elementary.  That fact has not stopped those bleeding heart liberals over at Breitbart.com from claiming that “Stevens’ daughter Victoria attends Sandy Hook, and was there on Dec. 14 when Adam Lanza committed his heinous crime.” The Daily Caller followed suit, stating that Victoria “survived the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting” despite not actually being INSIDE the school at the time of the massacre.  I guess that’s just like Tania Head being a 9/11 survivor despite not being in America at the time of the attack.

To his credit, Mr. Stevens issued a clarification to the Examiner that states:

“Thank you for the nice article about my testimony in Hartford. Unlike the Liberal media who don’t let facts get in the way, I just wanted to let you know that my daughter does not attend Sandy Hook Elementary, but was in “lock down” nonetheless on December 14, 2012 at Reed Intermediate School (5th & 6th grade) about a mile away with her classmates, one of whom lost his little sister that day.”

Man, this guy REALLY hates Breitbart and those other liberal news outlets who misreported and sensationalized his story, huh?

Nobody should demagogue Bill Stevens.  The man is a part of a grieving community that suffered a terrible tragedy.  He has a right to his opinions, and his political views.  With that said, it is important to address the content of what Mr. Stevens says in this video:

“Lockdown and 911 weren’t enough.” – So what WOULD be enough?  Armed guards at every entrance to the school?  Barbed wire fence surrounding the perimeter?  Maybe a couple of towers with guards to get a better look at the campus?

I’ve seen this somewhere before…

“To protect her from an evil person.” – What if that evil person didn’t have those guns?

“Quite different from the elaborate security you all enjoy here at the Capitol.  It was fun getting frisked on the way in.” – If Bill Stevens wants “elaborate security” in schools like metal detectors and armed guards patting down students, all he needs to do is move his family to a major US city and enroll her in Public School.

Look how safe everyone is!

And here is where Mr. Stevens puts on his tinfoil hat.  He then gets into Connecticut State Constitutional Law, claiming that “every citizen” has the right to bear arms in defense of himself, and the state.  Since it doesn’t say anything about felons or crazy people, EVERYONE gets a gun!  Since it doesn’t say anything about passing a background check, THEY ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL!  Hell, you don’t even need a permit for that thing!

“In case some here failed American history, there’s something called the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and a process by which to amend it.” – Well Bill, I did NOT fail American history so I know that the Bill of Rights is actually a PART of the Constitution – They are not independent documents.  Ask your daughter Victoria:  She probably learned that in the 4th grade.

“These rights are inalienable and endowed by our creator.” – Mr. Stevens tightens up the strap on his hat with this one.  A lot of people get Moses confused with Thomas Jefferson (It’s the hair, and they both LOVED chocolate… if you know what I mean) but “you politicians” (or at least their forefathers) are the ones who make laws.  Why does God give certain rights to us in America that he doesn’t give to other people in other countries? New Zealand’s Bill of Rights has 3 parts and 29 sections. Does that mean that God thinks that people in New Zealand deserve more rights than us hardworking Americans? What have we done to anger our Lord? Is it STILL about the gay marriage thing? I mean, New Zealand has legal civil unions already, so it can’t be that. We must be doing SOMETHING wrong for God to send crazy people here to shoot our children.

“How can any legislation be passed in good faith or good conscience without all the facts?” – Here’s the thing, Billy:  Sandy Hook was a terrible tragedy.  Since you are interested in the facts, over 1280 people have been killed by a gun since the shootings in Newtown.  Nobody wants to minimize the devastation felt by these mass shootings, but the bigger problem is the gun culture in America that allows these deaths to be thought of as status quo.

The REAL problem is violent video games and movies, though.

“My guns are not dangerous. They are at home, locked up, collecting dust and cat hair.” – Well, I’m relieved!  There has been a lot of coverage over nuclear weapons in Iran and North Korea but since they are locked up, they are harmless!

“Charlton Heston made the phrase “from my cold dead hands” famous. And I will tell you this today: You will take my ability to protect my Victoria from my cold dead hands.” – And he finishes with the standard gunbagger cognitive dissonance.  Let me finish with this point… again.  There has been no law signed that would confiscate your legal firearms.  There has been no law passed restricting your right to protect your family.  Right now, Congress is discussing ways to reduce the amount of gun-related deaths that we have as a nation; including universal background checks, restrictions on certain types of firearms, and limitations to magazine size.  92% of the country favors universal background checks.  It’s a good thing to discuss actual ways to limit the people killed by guns.  The point that Mr. Stevens fails to recognize:

NOBODY IS COMING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS.

… But they might, if you keep talking all crazy.

-Sean Kemmerer is a freelance writer, administrator of Politics Without The Crazy Pills, can be followed @Walkofshameband and believes that if you think Sandy Hook is fake, you must think professional wrestling is real.