Gun Nut Paranoia Has Reached Peak Stupidity

angry gun nutWhat’s the best way to find out if a proposed gun law is worth the effort? Ask a right wing gun nut. Seriously! The louder and more nonsensical their objections, the more reasonable the proposed gun law is. I discovered this truth after watching this past Friday’s Rachel Maddow. She discussed microstamping, a method to prevent/solve gun crime. Basically a microscopic serial number is engraved on the firing pin and every time it fires, it leaves the number on the spent casing. This, in turn, can possibly help the police to identify the gun used in a crime.



Maddow reported that the gun manufacturers were completely against it. I assumed, correctly, that the gun nuts would be against it as well. But I couldn’t think of a good reason why since it doesn’t restrict access to guns in any way whatsoever and doesn’t require a registry. Being the curious sort that I am, I asked the gun nuts in my favorite “debate room” what the problem was. To my mild surprise, it was the exact same kind of nonsense they use to oppose every other gun law even though the answers didn’t make any sense. It was like they have a script and do not know how to deviate from it:

  1. It takes away their right to buy a gun! (how this happens is unclear)
  2. It makes the gun more expensive so it’s unconstitutional! (by a couple of dollars and since when does the Constitution have price guarantees?)
  3. It’s useless because criminals can figure out a way around it! (this is true of EVERY crime prevention measure)
  4. It won’t stop all gun crime so why bother?! (also true of EVERY crime prevention measure)
  5. One bright bulb compared it to a poll tax and Jim Crow laws. Seriously.
  6. The cops will blame you if your gun is stolen! (this one was special. When I mentioned that you should probably report your stolen weapon, the answer was, I shit you not, “Yeah, duh. Guess what, the cops will still look at you and you’ll probably need a lawyer. I dont need that hassle.” Another responsible gun owner.)

And so on. The reaction was so automatic and unthinking, I’d swear I was talking to a computer program.

Reducing gun crime sends gun nuts into a frothing rage because….?

Clearly, the gun industry is 100% opposed to anything that would reduce gun crime because it would cost them millions in lost sales. So, in order to maximize blood profits, the industry has its meat puppets in the NRA whip up the gun nuts in opposition. This dynamic can be summed up as follows:

LaPierre’s Law

The volume of hysterical objection to any measure that reduces gun crime (and gun industry profits) is proportional to how effective and unobtrusive the measure is.

A blood soaked industry with millions of terrified and armed idiots under their control. What could possibly go wrong?

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