Scientific Proof: Liberals Are Smarter Than Conservatives

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Have you ever wondered why so many Conservatives are lacking a sense of humor? I know I have. Take President Obama’s recent appearance on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis, for example. Most people found it really funny…well, except Conservatives, that is.

Instead of laughing, the righties are freaking out, over in their alternate universe. They are busy calling the President’s interview some kind of distraction from Benghazi. And Oh, how I wish I was joking right now. But, in this alternate reality they live in, people like Bill O’Reily say things like Lincoln wouldn’t have done such a thing. Really Billy boy?? Well you know what else Lincoln wouldn’t have done? He wouldn’t have surfed porn on his iPhone because it would still be like another 130 years or so until Al Gore could invent the Internet.

But you see, all of these latest attacks on Obama’s successful use of humor are actually not so much of the usual anti-Obama display that we’ve all grown so accustomed to. No, these particular attacks really show us much more about Conservatives’ sheer inability to think, or in this case, to laugh like we do. True Story.

Conservatives just don’t quite get humor like we do. Ever wonder why all of the funniest comedians are liberals?

I guess we can’t blame them entirely for their lacking sense of humors. I mean, when you really think about it, there’s actually nothing at all funny about being a total douchebag. And where’s the humor in denying equal rights to gays, minorities, and immigrants? It must not be too much fun to always be complaining about being born into privilege, or how your historically low marginal taxes  help fund programs for the poor. Yeah, that must really suck. Nothing much to laugh about there, I suppose….especially if you’re a Conservative.

But, while righties may have trouble finding things to smile about, actual comedy seems to be one thing that downright pisses them off. At least the comedy that you and I find funny. So what is this about? Well, it turns out that there is actually a brain chemistry reason. You know…science and shit!

Seriously, all joking aside. Our brains…Conservatives and Liberals….really are different.

Several studies have found that Liberals have larger and more active anterior cingulate cortex, or ACC, than our Conservative counterparts. And while they are lacking in the ACC department, they actually have larger amygdala than we do.

Now What Do These Brain Parts Do??

First the Libs….

Basically, the more developed ACC allows the Liberal to be a better problem solver. It helps us to cipher through difficult information and make educated decisions.  According to scientists, Liberal brain chemistry allows us to monitor conflict, detect errors, and we are more likely to

“respond to informational complexity, ambiguity, and novelty. Liberals, according to this model, would be likely to engage in more flexible thinking, working through alternate possibilities before committing to a choice. Even after committing, if alternate contradicting data comes along, they would be more likely to consider it.  This is how science works, and why there might be so many correlations between scientific beliefs.”

Now the Cons…

The Conservatives on the other hand have a more developed center of emotion with the amygdala. It is said to be the center for fear, so with such an enlarged and heightened amygdala, much of what they do and how they react to most situations comes from basic fear response. Discover magazine also says,

“Conservatives respond to threatening situations with more aggression than do liberals and are more sensitive to threatening facial expressions.”

“So, when faced with an ambiguous situation, conservatives would tend to process the information initially with a strong emotional response. This would make them less likely to lean towards change, and more likely to prefer stability. Stability means more predictability, which means more expected outcomes, and less of a trigger for anxiety.”

So, basically what this all means is that they are just plain scared. And how can you relax and laugh and find humor in things that are genuinely funny when you are scared shitless all the time?? I mean, come on. We’d probably be a little grumpy too if we were born with Conservative brains, right?

Well, I hate to rub salt in an already irritable righty wound, but I have a feeling that I know something that will make you and I smile, but likely will only deepen the frowns to our right. Since that Obama-Galifinakis piece, web traffic to has increased by 40 percent. And you know what else? Despite all of the lovely comparisons with Nazism and slavery, Obamacare is right on track to meet even the most optimistic enrollment estimations made one year ago.

Have a fabulous day lefties!! 🙂

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Mindy Fischer

Owner, Editor in Chief at Mindy Fischer Writer
Mindy Fischer is a lefty-liberal, freelance political writer. Follow her on Facebook and on Twitter.