It’s official! The hypocrite lunatic bigot retired brain surgeon, Ben Carson, has announced that he will run for president.
It’s not a big shock, though. Like every good GOP candidate, he’s been hinting for months. He’s had conversations with God, y’all.
Since Carson has finally made it official, let’s take a look at some of the reasons he won’t make it past the primaries, shall we?
Looming anarchy may cancel the 2016 elections.
Carson told Alan Colmes that the threat of ISIS and “envy” could bring about a situation where “there may be so much anarchy going on” that elections can’t be held.
God talks to him about being the Commander In Chief and other political issues.
Because of course!! God isn’t merely speaking to him, God is touching him – like a heavenly massage! Before Carson announced his 2016 bid, he did an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network and here’s a tidbit of that fascinating exchange:
BRODY: How is that conversation going with God about this potential presidential run? Has He grabbed you by the collar yet? I read an article about that.
CARSON: I feel fingers. But, um, it’s mostly me. I have to be sure. And I have a surgical personality which says always look before you leap, and don’t leap before you have to.
BRODY: I do cover the presidential campaign trail. May I potentially see you there soon?
CARSON: I think there is a good chance you might.
The Lord also told Carson to call for a flat tax. Because, you know, modern miracles and junk.
Being gay is a choice.
In a 2015 CNN interview, he said homosexuality is a choice. His reasoning? He said heterosexual people who go to prison come out gay (no pun intended.) After being publicly slammed and ridiculed for his LUDICROUS statement, he apologized in a sorrynotsorry kind of way, but maintained that being gay is a choice.
The prison comment was nothing compared to his extremely offensive remarks linking homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality.
And then there’s that time he said that the LGBT community is a more protected class than Christians.
Who can forget the time he said that he isn’t a homophobe, but Congress should be able to remove federal judges for supporting and voting for marriage equality?
Goodbye gay vote.
Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) is worse than slavery.
In 2013 at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, Carson said, “You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. And it is in a way, it is slavery in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government, and it was never about health care. It was about control.”
War crimes? Ha! No such thing!
In a Fox News interview, Carson said, “Our military needs to know that they’re not gonna be prosecuted when they come back, because somebody has, said ‘You did something that was politically incorrect.’ There is no such thing as a politically correct war. We need to grow up, we need to mature. If you’re gonna have rules for war, you should just have a rule that says no war. Other than that, we have to win. Our life depends on it.”
Ben Carson conveniently forgot where he came from because in order to run as a conservative, he must lambast all of the progressive policies that helped him become a successful brain surgeon.
Interesting facts about Dr. Ben Carson, Conservative Icon:
- raised by a single mother
- raised in public housing
- fed with food stamps.
- supported with welfare
- kept healthy with medicaid…
- educated in public schools
- got eyeglasses from state agency
- benefited from affirmative action to enter college
- used federal loans and Pell grants in undergrad school
- benefited from affirmative action to enter medical school
- said: “The disintegration of the family unit and the welfare state are enslaving African-Americans and ruining their futures.”
Many conservatives say they love this man – but we’ll see about that in the primaries. Because we all know who will emerge the victor, coughcoughBushcoughcough. And if not Bush, Scott Walker.