From one parent to the people who raised Ted Nugent.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Nugent,
It has come to my attention that your son Ted was a participant in the bear massacre that recently took place in Florida. Now, I know he got his permits and did everything by the book, but I find it a little disturbing that your son is so fascinated by the act of killing God’s beautiful creatures. Then there’s the time he bragged about taking his machine gun, going up in a helicopter and mowing down 455 wild pigs. That’s not exactly the sport of hunting; that’s just wholesale slaughter. I found myself wondering where this behavior originated. I mean, Ted delights in telling those who care – and I don’t – that he was born and raised Catholic and still attends mass regularly. So what’s with the killing stuff?
For that matter, what’s with his entire life? How do you feel about your son going out on stage in pink satin pants and screaming out lyrics like this:
I make the pussy purr with
The stroke of my hand
They knew they gettin’ from me
They know just where to go
When they need their lovin’ man
They know I do it for free
I know he’s ostensibly “singing” about a cat, but you’ve got to admit those lyrics are a little sexist and a lot icky.
Speaking of sexist, how about that comment he made about Hillary Clinton, calling her a toxic c*nt? Did you allow language like that in your house? Do you approve? Then, of course, there’s his racism. Are you aware that your son called President Obama a chimpanzee and a subhuman mongrel? Does that make you proud?
Then there’s the issue of his pedophilia. How about that time when he convinced the brain dead parents of an underage girl to come live with him? We all know it wasn’t because he wanted to take care of her, unless taking care of her means – well, you can refer to the aforementioned lyrics and draw your own conclusions. And how about that horrid song Jailbait, where he extols the virtues of raping a 13-year-old girl? Do you approve of behavior like that?
Or that time when he didn’t bathe or change his underwear, which he shat in BTW, in order to avoid the draft? While others were dying in the swamps of Vietnam, your son relegated those people to the category of “common curs” and “imbeciles” and said he was too important, what with his music career and all, to stand side by side with those fighting men. At least, that’s the account from Ted’s own mouth. There is a question as to the veracity of his account, but he said it, so true or not, it demonstrates his complete and utter disdain for those who served, were wounded and/or died in service to their country. How does that make you feel? Like you did a good job of raising the boy?
I tell you, Mr. and Mrs. Nugent, if Ted were my son, I’d hang my head in shame. But hey, that’s just me.
Ann Werner is the author of thrillers and other things. Visit her at Ann Werner on the Web