We’ve all seen the pictures of Trump’s hair: The one where he was boarding Air Force One while the wind destroyed his careful comb-over or the one where he resembles Darth Vader in a rear-view shot. There are countless others.
It’s no secret that Trump is very sensitive about his hair. He went to great pains to convince people he isn’t wearing a toupee. He threw a fit over a viral video that exposed the bald back of his head.
Even his daughter Ivanka makes fun of his daily hair ritual. She pointed out that the odd color is the product of Trump’s impatience. He uses Just For Men. The longer it’s kept on, the darker the hue. But Trump can’t wait, so – orange. It sort of matches his tanning bed skin color – only lighter. #TwoToneTrump
Yes, it’s a hair disaster, just like everything he does is a disaster. But you have to wonder: Where did he get the idea for his ridiculous hairstyle in the first place? Anyone with just a hint of vanity would readily admit that a bald pate, annoying as it may be, is eminently more preferable than looking like a circus clown. On some men, it even looks sexy, but I sincerely doubt that would apply to Donnie. Did he take a cue from Clarabelle, the iconic clown from the1950s Howdy Doody Show? Or maybe Pennywise from Stephen King’s It? Maybe Albert Einstein? Nah, Trump probably doesn’t even know who Einstein is, and if he does, he’ll tell you he’s smarter than Albert. Or maybe he got the idea from Don King? It’s a mystery.
Wonder no more! I have been on the case and solved the mystery! Trump’s hair role model was a lot closer to home. As a matter of fact, it was his dear old mom. Yes, Mary Trump had the same color and the female version of the famous Trump comb-over. It’s an altogether startling, and dare I say frightening, look. I mean, really, who wants to look like that?
I guess those good genes Dr. Ronnie Jackson talked about didn’t extend to hair. Or brains. Or the milk of human kindness. But I digress. I was writing about Trump’s terrible hair, not his terrible everything else.
Pic links: https://twitter.com/MeghanStabler/status/982235957993783296 https://twitter.com/realitychuck/status/961663042864984064