Sixteen Commandments of the Tea Party, in no particular order.
1. Always distort the truth and lie when asked a direct question. If you get caught you can always blame it on the liberal media or smart people (or in extreme cases Kenyan socialists).
2. Blame Bill Clinton and Barack Obama for the Bush years.
3. Cheating on your wife, sexually harassing women, or hiring prostitutes is encouraged. If you get caught see the first rule, or look to Newt “The Newt” Gingrich for inspiration. [Who could ever forget the classic: using daughters from your first wife to convince people your second wife is lying about your third wife.]
4. Corporations are people.
5. Honor your mother and father unless they contradict Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck.
6. If persuasion and lies don’t work, you can always re-interpret or rewrite the Constitution.
7. Never masturbate. “Love thy neighbor as thyself” was not meant to be taken literally.
8. Never say the word “compromise” much less adhere to it.
9. Separation of church and state means we have the right to protect ourselves against “them”.
10. The cult of higher education must be replaced by a more practical market oriented apprenticeship program. [Either trade-schools or work farms]
11. The elderly, minorities and the poor don’t really want (or deserve) to vote.
12. The Koran is a great charcoal starter.
13. Thou shall not take the name of thy President in vain – unless the President is a Democrat (or a socialist commie bastard from Kenya).
14. Tune-in to Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh daily. What’s the sense in thinking for yourself?
15. Women shall submit to their husbands.
16. You are always right, even if the facts prove you wrong. [You can always blame elitists or the liberal media if ‘called out’ on this.]
- Source Links – August 29, 2020
- About Pat Warde: Eulogy Tribute by Eleanor Hughes – April 1, 2019
- Editorial Note – January 15, 2019
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