John Fugelsang Plays 'Are You Qualified to Criticize Obama?' (VIDEO)

It’s time to play America’s fastest-growing new game: “Are you qualified to criticize Barack Obama on this?”

Today’s guest is none other than former Vice President Dick Cheney.

You can watch the clip below followed by a transcript.

Enjoy!

TRANSCRIPT:

John Fugelsang: It’s time to play America’s fastest-growing new game: “Are you qualified to criticize Obama on this?” TV’s Frank, who’s today’s contestant?

FRANK CONNIFF: John, he’s a former vice president, torture defender and architect of the Iraq invasion who enjoys grunting, grimacing and high-cholesterol meals — Dick Cheney!

Thanks, TV’s Frank. All of Mr. Cheney’s clips come courtesy of the Sean Hannity show, where Sean lubed up his nose for Mr. Cheney’s phone-in interview to call the 9/11/12 attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi “one of the worst incidents I can recall in my career.”

Here’s clip No. 1:

DICK CHENEY: “The State Department and the White House ignored repeated warnings from the CIA about the threat.”

JOHN FUGELSANG: Ignored warnings. So — is Dick Cheney qualified to criticize Barack Obama on this?

[Buzzer]

Ooh, sorry, Dick. You see, back on August 6, 2001, your administration was given a presidential daily briefing literally titled “Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.”

The CIA warned you for months. You did nothing, Bush continued his month-long vacation. And after 9/11 — the greatest security failure in national history — the one person in your administration who should’ve been fired — your national security adviser — was promoted to secretary of state. Which means some of us can criticize Barack Obama, but you ignored more warnings than Andy Dick’s agent.

FRANK CONNIFF: You know, John, I just realized this show is like the Vietnam War.

JOHN FUGELSANG: How so, Frank?

FRANK CONNIFF: Because Dick Cheney isn’t here.

Here’s clip No. 2:

DICK CHENEY: “They ignored messages from their own people on the ground that they needed more security. Indeed, they reduced what was already there.”

JOHN FUGELSANG: Ignored requests for more security? Is Dick Cheney qualified to criticize Obama on this?

[Buzzer]

Ooh, too bad, Dick. You see, back in 2011 when the GOP House was voting on crippling budget cuts for security, it was Hillary Clinton — the person this is really all about, isn’t it? — who told reporters following a lunch with John Boehner, quote, “The scope of the proposed House cuts is massive. The truth is that cuts of that level will be detrimental to America’s national security.”

FRANK CONNIFF: You know, John, it’s kind of unfair to have a game show and invite someone who’s been wrong about everything.

JOHN FUGELSANG: Well, that’s why he didn’t come. OK, Dick — your last chance to morally qualify anything you said on “Hannity”:

DICK CHENEY: “In my past experience, when we got into these situations, especially after 9/11, we were always on the set, locked and loaded, ready to go on 9/11.”

JOHN FUGELSANG: Locked and loaded, ready to go on 9/11. Frank, is Dick Cheney qualified to criticize Barack Obama on this? Frank? … Frank?

FRANK CONNIFF: Oh, sorry. I didn’t hear the question — I was reading “The Pet Goat.”

JOHN FUGELSANG: Yes, Frank, apparently that book is so good you can’t put it down even if American lives depend on it. We were not, Dick, ready to go on 9/11, as the commander in chief sat in a classroom reading to children while his nation was under attack — because he wasn’t needed. Dick went on to call the Obama administration liars over the bad intel about the anti-Muslim video protests.

FRANK CONNIFF: That’s right, John. And we all know bad intel is only an acceptable excuse when it leads to invading another country that never attacked us and 4,000 soldiers get killed.

JOHN FUGELSANG: Over 4,400 Frank, but let’s not be picky. Right you are. Dick Cheney also lied extensively about WMDs and Iraq’s connection to 9/11 — and of course, Mr. Cheney was quick to not mention the attacks during his administration on the U.S. embassies or consulates in Karachi, Uzbekistan, Jeddah, Damascus, Istanbul or Yemen, all leading to dozens of deaths with zero Republican outrage. You see, Dick Cheney, you’re not morally, intellectually, ethically or historically qualified to criticize any of this administration’s actions in Benghazi. But don’t feel bad — not that you’re capable of that, Dick — we do have a lovely parting gift for playing. Tell him what he’s won, Frank!

FRANK CONNIFF: It’s a one-way plane ticket to the Hague!

JOHN FUGELSANG: That’s right, Frank. Because some people are qualified to criticize Obama on Mideast policy, as long as it’s not anybody who ever supported the Bush administration on Mideast policy.

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John Fugelsang Plays ‘Are You Qualified to Criticize Obama?’ (VIDEO)