Here are 10 of our favorite Facebook posts about International Women’s Day – in no particular order.
All the quotes are brought to you courtesy of my good friend – and comedian – Kate Sedwick.
1. It’s International Women’s Day! To celebrate, interrupt a man in conversation. Every time a thought comes into your mind, say it immediately, no matter how trivial. If he gets frustrated, ask him what the matter is in a baby voice.
2. It’s International Women’s Day! To celebrate, sit at an outdoor cafe with a friend and rate men on a scale of 1 to 10 as they walk by. This is a real attention getter if you can generate some friction by disagreeing in front of the man in question by saying things like, “7? He’s a 5. His hair’s starting to thin.”
3. It’s International Women’s Day! To celebrate, when you’re out driving around and see a younger man walking alone, slow down and drive beside him. For a little extra fun, drive away, but circle the block and repeat until you’re done amusing yourself.
4. It’s International Women’s Day! To celebrate, refuse to engage with a man who’s trying to make a serious point except to tell him how cute he is. Smile and laugh. Beam at him every time he starts to talk again and then tell him he’s cute. If he gets flustered, it’s working, so just keep it up.
5. It’s International Women’s Day! In celebration, if you see a man changing a tire or checking his oil, aggressively insist on helping him. Don’t take no for an answer, and second guess every move he makes until he steps aside.
6. It’s International Women’s Day! To celebrate, find a good looking man and explain to him that he has never had to develop a personality, something he’ll only realize once his looks start to falter and it’s too late to do anything about it. Then go to the bathroom and masturbate thinking about him.
7. Tomorrow is International Women’s Day! To celebrate, if a man makes a quip, point out to him how he was just accidentally clever by explaining to him the meaning of what he just said.
8. Tomorrow is International Women’s Day! To celebrate, ask a man how he feels, then explain to him why it’s wrong.
9. Tomorrow is International Women’s Day! Try celebrating by telling a man in a prominent position that you know how he got his job. If he asks anything in return, refuse to say anything besides, “You know,” or “Come on, we both know,” and/or leering at him.
10. Tomorrow is International Women’s Day! Celebrate by asking a man if it would hurt him to dress a little more masculine.
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