Hey conservatives, we are just looking for a little consistency here – okay?
So you are a conservative who believes in small government, hates taxes, loathes socialism? Then you need to use the chart below to help you know which services to avoid.
Oh, and by the way – these 36 services you need to relinquish yesterday are just a preliminary list. There are going to be a lot more you must give up by the time we are finished….
1. Aid to families with dependent children? Forget about it.
2. Do not call for an ambulance, the fire department or any other emergency services to include the hospitals or the police.
3. Do not expect convicted felons to remain off the streets as you will no longer be able to enjoy the security of jails and prisons or probation and parole officers.
4. Do not use Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security or State Supplemental Income.
5. Do not use the courts, court appointed attorneys, attorneys licensed through the state.
6. Don’t bother expecting anymore benefits or protection from Homeland Security.
7. Don’t look for National Guard or any other disaster relief agencies and services.
8. Don’t worry about public schools as they go away as well.
9. Don’t bother observing traffic signs, lights, streetlights, lane designations…. that is if you can find any roads that were not paid through with government funds.
10. Don’t bother sending your children to public schools or asking for government sponsored student loans or grants.
11. Don’t expect anymore border security.
12. Don’t look for any protection or assistance from the US Armed Services to include rescue services from the Coast Guard.
13. Don’t use any roadways or bridges paid for through government programs.
14. Don’t use public parks or recreation areas such as playgrounds or sports fields/courts.
15. Fire Rescue and Services – nope! Go ahead and removed them from the list of unnecessary services you are currently being forced to pay for.
16. Forget about any safety codes including those governing building, food or medicines just to name a few.
17. Forget about calling the local police or sheriff’s department in an emergency or when your house is being robbed.
18. Forget about clean air and water standards as any nutritional standards.
19. Forget about public service announcements or the American Geological Survey or the National Weather Service.
20. Forget about any government sponsored or funded utility services to include waste management, electricity, water purification.
21. Getting any military benefits? Not anymore.
22. Hope you are not in an automobile accident with an unlicensed or uninsured motorist as you cannot avail yourself of the court system and cannot compel them to have insurance or pay you otherwise.
23. Illegal immigrant get your job? Don’t bother calling Immigration.
24. Need the bomb squad? Don’t bother calling – they are part of the police departments you are no longer supporting.
25. No longer apply for a driver’s license as they are issued and administered through the government, however it really doesn’t matter as you will no longer be using roads anyway.
26. No longer plan on using Medicare or Medicaid.
27. No longer visit National Parks, Wildlife Reserves or National Forests, make an appointment with EXXON instead.
28. Public restrooms – no problem. They no longer exist.
29. Vouchers? Forget them too.
30. Want a job? That is going to be hard to get without a government issued I.D., proof of residency or a social security number.
31. Want to get married so you can include your spouse on your insurance plan or retirement? Forget about it, the government issues the license. You can forget about adopting any children as well.
32. Want to visit another country? Don’t bother unless you know a way around the border stop which is patrolled by the government and don’t forget you no longer can get a passport any more.
33. You need to worry about clean air or water once the commie EPA is shut down.
34. You no longer have to be bothered with paved roads, highways, interstate freeways or public bridges.
35. You won’t have to worry about those public waste service employees making all that noise picking up your garbage. Those operations will be shut down once your tax dollars quit coming.
36. Your child got molested? Don’t bother calling Child Protective Services.
I am sure there are a few items we forgot so feel free to add them in the comments below and we will either add them later or make a supplemental list.