Humorous comebacks for Romney flip flops

“I believe that since Roe v. Wade has been the law for 20 years we should sustain and support it.” Source
“Roe v. Wade has gone too far.” Source
News Flash: President Obama wins re-election. Mitt Romney’s parents opt for retroactive abortion – Romney no longer exists.

“Detroit needs a turnaround, not a check.” Source
“I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back.” Source
Obama’s rescue of the automobile industry is the right height.

“I supported the assault weapon ban.” Source
“I don’t support any gun control legislation.” Source
News Flash: Romney turns down Secret Service detail, confident all gun owners are responsible.

“Those… paying taxes and not taking government benefits should begin a process toward application for citizenship.” Source
“Amnesty only led to more people coming into the country.” Source
Who might notice all my money going out of the country and say something.

“I think the minimum wage ought to keep pace with inflation.” Source
“There’s no question raising the minimum wage excessively causes a loss of jobs.” Source
Particularly the minimum wage in China and India where Mitt Romney has been outsourcing American jobs.

“I will work and fight for stem cell research.” Source
“In the end, I became persuaded that the stem-cell debate was grounded in a false premise.” Source
YEAH: the premise that science exists!

“I would like to have campaign spending limits.” Source
“The American people should be free to advocate for their candidates and their positions without burdensome limitations.” Source
Does it really matter since by December Romney will have retroactively lost the election?

“I’m a strong believer in stating your position and not wavering.” Source
“I changed my position.” Source
Could you repeat the question?

“When I first heard of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, I thought it sounded awfully silly.” Source
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has worked well.” Source
Just ask me about my taxes, or my time at Bain Capital.

“If Massachusetts succeeds in implementing it, then that will be a model for the nation.” Source
“What works in one state may not be the answer for another.” Source
Like the former governor of Massachusetts thinking he can serve as president?

“Relative to the leading candidates, some people see me as being more conservative.” Source
“I’m not the most conservative candidate.” “Source
A conservative, a moderate and a liberal walk into a bar…. and the bartender says: “Hello Mitt”.

“I’m a member of the [NRA].” Source
“I don’t line up with the NRA.” Source
I just hope one of their “stand my ground” asses doesn’t line up their AK with me!

“I like mandates. The mandates work.” Source
“I think it’s unconstitutional on the 10th Amendment front.” Source
I was sorta hoping for a man date with Rick Santorum if I win!

“I respect and will protect a woman’s right to choose.” Source
“I never really called myself pro-choice.” Source
Ann is free to do whatever the church or I tell her is permitted.

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