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Stephen Colbert Presents: Cheating Death – Flu-Fighting Crystal Meth
Colbert recently premiered a new segment entitled “Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA,” with DFA standing for Doctorate of Fine Arts, which Colbert said means that he can give “pap smears to Georgia O’Keefe paintings.”
In this premier segment, Colbert discussed the results of a recent clinical study in Taiwan in which scientists discovered that cells exposed to meth not only stopped influenza’s reproduction, but the cells became more resistant to invasion by flu viruses.
“No surprise,” Colbert said, “It’s feed a fever, starve a cold, lose-all-your-teeth a flu.”
He went on to add that it’s only fair “because meth is the reason you were sleeping outside naked in the first place.”
“Folks, the point is that science has determined that apart from brain damage, heart disease, severe weight loss, psychosis and destroying people’s lives, meth is good for you”.
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