Power, many women say, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. For hundreds, if not thousands of years, it’s been quietly accepted that our leaders have forays on the side. Sex scandals are one of the few things that are non-partisan. Republicans have Larry Vitter, Mark Sanford, John Ensign and Herman Cain. Democrats have Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner. Some have survived the scandals. Some have not. Mark Sanford was elected to Congress and Bill Clinton is now seen as an elder statesman.
This week, Anthony Weiner, who was forced to resign his seat in Congress over a “sexting” scandal, admitted that he has “sexted” since his come to Jesus moment (speaking metaphorically, of course – I doubt Weiner has any desire to convert from Judaism). In fact, he was carrying on at least one sexting relationship while he told People Magazine that he was a changed man.
Yes, that’s kind of creepy. Weiner has clearly not learned from his mistakes. Democrats and the media are leaving Weiner’s side by the droves. Even I posted on my Facebook page that I was DONE supporting Weiner. I defended him before he resigned his seat in Congress. I defended him after he resigned, but what was it about this week’s press conference that turned my stomach and my opinion?
Weiner, in my opinion, was a good Congressman. He spoke truth to power. I thought that was more important than the sexting scandal, but apparently the Democratic powers-that-be didn’t. It’s also rumored that Weiner is not well liked along the beltway and that he was a terrible fundraiser. It’s no wonder the Democratic National Committee wanted him out. Politicians do need to be politicians, after all.
It can be argued that Bill Clinton was even more skeevy than Anthony Weiner. He was a serial philanderer. He was accused of sexual harassment. He had an intern perform oral sex on him in the Oval Office. Still, his supporters stood by him. In fact, during the impeachment trials, his approval ratings rose. Post-Presidency, Bill Clinton has been elevated to near royalty in this country.
We accepted infidelity from JFK. Republicans have accepted it from Newt Gingrich and the former New York Mayor, Rudy Giulliani.
Why, in 2013, are we holding Anthony Weiner to a higher standard? Have we become more puritanical in the last two decades instead of less?
On Wednesday night, Lawrence O’Donnell asked the same questions – and it forced me to do a little soul searching. He made the case that personal lives and public lives absolutely do not correlate. Here’s the video:
A decade or so ago, I had a long-distance email “relationship.” We were both single and it was all pretty innocent. Then one day, things changed. He starting sending me pictures that were even more graphic than the ones that Weiner sent. I felt disgusted and violated. I ended our friendship. I don’t believe I am a prude. I am generally non-judgemental when it comes to sex, but I also believe that sex and sexual interest involve much more than a single body part and it’s definitely not two-dimensional.
Or is it something much more basic and far more shallow? Clinton is relatively good looking and wildly charismatic. Weiner has neither of those characteristics. In fact, he lacks even basic charm. No matter how well-intentioned he is, he comes across as arrogant.
The wives are also a contrast. 90s Hillary Clinton had still not bloomed, politically or physically. While being anything but, she had the look of a dowdy housewife. Many even blamed Hillary for her husband’s dalliances.
On the other hand, Huma Abedin, Anthony Weiner’s wife, is beautiful, accomplished and highly sympathetic. I couldn’t help feeling, as I watched the very uncomfortable press conference, that they really didn’t belong together. She can do so much better, I thought – even if that means being on her own. Could Hillary Clinton have done better than Bill? I guess it depends on what you mean by “better.” Bill helped elevate her career to the point where she might be the next president. I believe that they do really love each other, even if that love is in the form of a very deep friendship. Bill Clinton was arguably the most powerful man in the world and he remains very powerful, even if it’s mostly behind the scenes. Abedin is (at this moment) far more powerful than Weiner.
That being said, I am not privy to what happens in the Weiner/Abedin household. Perhaps their love is binding and deep. Perhaps they have the mutual respect that is so obvious in the Clinton marriage. Perhaps they don’t. Either way, that’s none of my business.
Perhaps, with me at least, it’s the fact that Weiner is now a fallen politician. It takes a lot more energy to pick something up than it does to keep it elevated.
Maybe it’s something as basic as the fact that we never saw Bill Clinton’s or JFK’s private parts – that Weiner comes across as too human instead of publicly buttoned up and pristine.
Has my soul searching changed my mind about Weiner? Honestly, I want it to. I want to get beyond my own personal hypocrisy. Whenever I think my left-brain might take control, an image of Weiner’s naked lower half comes across my computer screen. Fortunately, I don’t really have to come to terms with my conflicting feelings. I’m not a New Yorker. In the end, it is only their opinions that matter.
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