Harrowing stories of women who were victims of domestic abuse and stayed in those violent relationships are flooding social media today in the wake of Ray Rice’s indefinite suspension from the NFL after the release of a new video showing him beating his then-fiance unconscious.
As ABC News reports, Beverly Gooden, a former victim of domestic violence, sparked a conversation online about why it’s difficult for women to leave and other abuse victims are sharing their stories using the hashtag, #WhyIStayed.
Back in 2009, Author and business woman Leslie Morgan Steiner published a memoir entitled Crazy Love dealing with surviving domestic violence. The book spent several weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List and Steiner is currently working on The Crazy Love Project, a documentary profiling abuse survivors.
On her website, Steiner describes the book as “a memoir of love and violence,” elaborating:
If you and I met at one of our children’s birthday parties, in the hallway at work, or at a neighbor’s barbecue, you’d never guess my secret: that as a young woman I fell in love with and married a man who beat me regularly and nearly killed me.
I don’t look the part. I have an MBA and an undergraduate degree from Ivy League schools. I live in a red brick house on a tree-lined street in one of the prettiest neighborhoods in Washington, DC. I’ve got 15 years of marketing experience at Fortune 500 companies and a best-selling book about motherhood to my name. A smart, loyal husband with a sexy gap in his front teeth, a softie who puts out food for the stray kittens in our alley. Three rambunctious, well-loved children. A dog and three cats of our own. Everyone in my family is blonde (the people, at least).
Ah, if only being well-educated and blonde and coming from a good family were enough to defang all life’s demons.
If I were brave enough the first time I met you, I’d try to share what torture it is to fall in love with a good man who cannot leave a violent past behind. I’d tell you why I stayed for years, and how I finally confronted someone whose love I valued almost more than my own life. Then maybe the next time you came across a woman in an abusive relationship, instead of asking why anyone stays with a man who beats her, you’d have the empathy and courage to help her on her way.
We all have secrets we don’t reveal the first time we cross paths with others. This is mine.
Steiner is also the author of a popular TED Talk in which she tries to explain why victims stay with abusive partners.
TED Talks prefaces the video on their YouTube page and website, writing:
Leslie Morgan Steiner was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.
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