A few hilarious suggestions for the Marco Rubio campaign.
Republican establishment candidate Marco Rubio has been in the media spotlight ever since he short-circuited and began repeating the same memorized talking points during last Saturday’s Republican presidential debate.
It seems that Rubio failed to learn his lesson and repeated the whole affair at a New Hampshire campaign rally this Monday.
Elliot Hannon wrote a hilarious and cutting piece for Slate on the affair offering some advice for Rubio’s campaign staff regarding possible solutions to the problem.
Noting that Rubio is “now facing growing calls to release his birth certificate to quiet claims he was constructed from the ground up in the basement of a Miami-Dade County Best Buy,” Hannon goes on to offer the following preventative maintenance checks and services for the stumbling candidate.
Prefacing the list, Hannon writes that: “It will be interesting to see how the Rubio folks try to spin the new speaking style, but here are a few tried-and-true options the campaign may wish to employ before hitting the panic button,” suggesting the following checklist:
- Turn the Marco Rubio off and then back on again.
- Take Marco Rubio’s cartridge out and blow on it.
- Clear Marco Rubio’s cache and delete his browser history.
If all this fails, never fear – Hannon has one more suggestion: “If the Marco Rubio’s still not working, make sure he’s plugged in before calling customer service for help. It’s always embarrassing when the not-plugged-in thing is the right answer.”
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