An Honest Message For Teens On Abstinence Only & The 'First Time'

Teens deserve the truth about sex and this is why the eBook, The Virgin Diaries, will be offered for FREE on Amazon from November 19-21.

Think Progress came out with an article titled, Abstinence Only Course In Texas Tells Kids That Having Sex Makes Them Like A Chewed-Up Piece Of Gum.

“Starting in middle school, students attending the Canyon Independent School District are instructed that they should remain a virgin until they get married. And the teachers who work in those Texas schools are instructed to drive this point home by telling kids that they don’t want to be like a used toothbrush or a chewed-up piece of gum.”

Huffington Post recently ran an article penned by parent and Baptist minister Rev. Dr. Jamie Clark-Soles in which she describes her shock and disgust upon learning that her daughter was to attend a special assembly featuring Justin Lookadoo, self-proclaimed expert on teenage dating, relationships and sex. A visit to his website tells you all you need to know about him and what he preaches. Of particular interest is the quiz on the site, which determines whether or not a boy or girl is “datable.” Basically he tells girls that they are better seen and not heard and that boys are allowed to be pigs because that’s how they were created. The authors of The Virgin Diaries share Rev. Clark-Soles’ disgust and feel that Mr. Lookadoo’s advice is moronic, childish and potentially damaging to young people.

Here are some disturbing quotes from promoters of abstinence-only education:

Justin Lookadoo: “God made guys as leaders.”

Jason Evert: “Girls…only lift the veil over your body to the spouse who is worthy.”

Pam Stenzel: “If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you.”

Joi Wasill: “According to your health textbook, and all of the medical textbooks, and science textbooks, and biology texts, conception is when life begins.”

Shelly Donahue: “Girls are more feelings-oriented, and boys are more facts-oriented.”

We live in a society that is full of sexual messages, from Miley Cyrus gyrating with Robin Thicke at the MTV Music Awards, to magazines, television shows and movies portraying sex, sometimes graphically. To think that our pre-teens and teens aren’t affected by these messages is naïve. At the same time they are getting these overtly sexual messages, so-called “educators” are telling them that having sex makes them like a used up toothbrush or that their mothers will hate them. We believe that knowledge is power and our young people deserve to be told the truth, particularly when they have reached an age when awakening hormones play havoc with their minds and bodies. If we have done our job as parents, we should not fear this time of passage in the lives of our children. We should be prepared to deal with it in a calm and reasonable manner. That doesn’t mean it is an easy task. It is our objective to make that task a little easier.

We have a message for teen virgins, especially Texas teens: We are offering this giveaway for you and we hope you spread the word!

The Virgin Diaries is a collection of stories where men and women share what their first time was like. It is not clinical and it has no agenda other than to inform. Readers can make up their own minds about the accounts. No one tells them what to do or how to feel. It is not sugar-coated but it also isn’t overly graphic. In fact, my mother, Ann Werner, and I collaborated on the book and we specifically asked the wonderful men and women who shared their first time stories to be honest and frank and to focus on the emotional aspect.

It is normal for virgins to have questions. It can be embarrassing and uncomfortable to ask parents or other adults about the details, and young people are left to decipher what is true and what isn’t. Movies don’t usually paint an accurate picture either. Peers spread false rumors. The Virgin Diaries helps dispel the myths and provides a glimpse into a very private experience. That glimpse helps virgins understand what to expect and can also provide a sense of understanding that you can’t get in a classroom setting. You get to be a fly on the wall.

When abstinence is the only form of sex education a teen receives, they are not getting enough information. They are only getting part of the story. In order to make an informed decision about sex, kids need to be treated with respect and allowed to understand the truth. This is not possible when the only message is: Don’t do it!!! This is why we are giving teens a chance to get the book for free.

TVD Authors:
Kimberley Johnson & Ann Werner

The Kindle eBook will be available for free Tuesday through Thursday, November 19-21. If you don’t have a Kindle device, you can download a free Kindle app to any desktop computer, Tablet or iPhone HERE.

You can read what other teens have to say about the book HERE.

Read two stories HERE.

Visit the Amazon page HERE.

Excerpts from the book:

Female 46. I was 21 then—nearly 22.

“….The best part was being that close to another person. The worst part was the pain…

The only thing that I’d change now is that I’d have told him I was a virgin. I think I sold him a little short on that one. And it would’ve been nice if we’d have both shared the experience of my first time as such together. Perhaps it was my withholding the truth that ultimately led to his withdrawing his affection and backing away. Now I’ll never know if that little while lie cost me dearly…”

Male 43. I lost my virginity when I was 18 to a girl I didn’t even like.

“…I remember getting drunk and taking this girl into my friend’s bedroom, as I had many times before. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and luckily, because I was drunk and did not care about her, I wasn’t embarrassed…

I found out later that night that she was a virgin too and really liked me a lot. I didn’t care one way or the other, not because that’s my personality, I just had a world of other more important things on my mind, like what the hell I was going to do with the rest of my life….”

Female 20. I was just 17.

“…Looking back, my worries were not really what stopped me. I just was not ready. I worried about it changing our relationship, pregnancy and the pain of the first actual time and Jim. However when we did have sex for the first time, I did not even think twice about any of these things….

Physically, my first sexual experience was painful. I don’t remember him having trouble getting it in but I felt as though my body was being ripped in half. In an overwhelming mixture of physical pain and unfathomable emotional connection, I cried. With every tear that fell out of my eyes, Jim kept kissing me and telling me he loved me….”

Male 26. At the time I was a sophomore in college.

“…I was a Nervous Nelly. I had no idea what to do and I didn’t want to look like an idiot…

I was happy, scared, sad, all of it. It happened so fast, so all of the emotions were pouring out of me at the same time. I was respectful and gentle and sweet…”

Female. 77. I was 15 years old.

“…Looking back, it was very sweet and a very important time of my life because I had somebody to hold, to be with. I was relatively insecure in myself. It just made me feel close to somebody and that I needed to be a part of somebody’s life. That’s what it did. We had boyfriends then, we didn’t have parties where people switched partners and it was just different. You went steady and eventually you had sex. You loved each other, whether it was real love or not. It was something you did to be close….”

Kimberley A. Johnson (BIO) is the author of The Virgin Diaries and an activist for women’s rights. Like her on Facebook, Twitter or follow her on FB HERE.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

An Honest Message For Teens On Abstinence Only & The ‘First Time’