As the author of a book on virginity, I have witnessed first-hand how parents shy away from the topic of sex with their teens. It’s understandable. In the foreward of the book, I mention that no matter your age, discussing sex with your parents is awkward.
Lately, the gun debate has a lot of people talking and disagreeing, and it doesn’t matter which side of the political fence you’re on, if you love owning guns, you feel threatened at the idea of any kind of ban. My intention here is not to convince anyone they should or shouldn’t own guns, but I have noticed something quite interesting as a result of all the chatter.
Memes have been popping up depicting young children enthusiastically promoting the idea of gun ownership. Whether it’s the picture of the three young girls holding assault rifles or a child holding a picture that says her parents are her armed guards, the idea here is to teach youth that guns are good. They protect us from danger and there are parents who teach gun safety to their children and take pride in doing so. What would the reaction be if memes popped up with kids proudly promoting condoms?
My book, The Virgin Diaries is a collection of seventy-two stories from men and women describing their first sexual experience. The emphasis is on the emotional aspect as well as what it feels like physically. Most of the contributors reported they received no advice or guidance from their parents or authority figures, other than not to have sex. It was something that wasn’t discussed at all. Most said they were not educated on how to be safe when they decided to go all the way.
Sex is a natural part of life, and whether you believe in abstinence before marriage or the idea that sex between two consenting people who are not married is okay, sex can be a pleasure and a beautiful expression of emotion. It is supposed to be a good thing.
Some parents seem to be quite comfortable teaching gun safety in the event that a terrible situation presents itself and one is forced to defend their own life or the life another. Yet, the mere idea of their child having sex—ever—makes some parents so frightened, they choose to ignore the topic altogether in the hope that their teen is the exception and will not realize sex exists. We all know this is impossible. The Internet alone is filled with sexual content, not to mention the pressure from schoolmates, movies, television and popular songs. A loving parent can only hope that their child grows up to enjoy a happy, healthy and satisfying sex life, even though they don’t want to know details.
Why would parents take pride in teaching their children to be prepared for a horrible event that will hopefully never take place, yet ignore teaching safety about something that should be a beautiful thing that absolutely will take place?
We prepare our children for college, for driving and all the other things expected of responsible adults. We hear about personal responsibility all the time. Understanding the risk of sexually transmitted infections and the emotional impact of sex is paramount when making an informed and educated decision. Most of us remember what it was like to be a teen with questions. Many of us decided to lose our virginity without any idea of what it would be like and were disappointed. Some became pregnant, some were ‘used,’ some felt empty because they had false expectations, and if you ask people what their first time was like, you don’t often hear it was fabulous.
Parents who choose to take an active role in sex education often have children who feel more confident and less vulnerable to pressure. Sex education doesn’t guarantee a good first time, just like gun safety education doesn’t guarantee you will be able to escape a dangerous situation, but it does help teens to distinguish the false rumors from the truth.
Something to think about.
Kimberley A. Johnson – A.K.A. The Anti Coulter is the author of The Virgin Diaries and an activist for women’s rights. Like her on Facebook, Twitter or friend her on FB HERE. Check out her campaign to raise money for her next book on Women’s Rights and The Importance Of Voting.
You must be logged in to post a comment Login